Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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