What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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