guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
