so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
