I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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