matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
