it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
