we're blogging at a bar
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I have aggressive nipples.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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