would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
