i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
