then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
