So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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