Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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