nut hugger
I am puke
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
