well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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