i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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