I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
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