This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
