It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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