Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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