The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
