Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
