life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
