Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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