It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
