He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
