I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
