My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
