Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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