The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
