Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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