i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
