Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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