do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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