i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
