Where is the hickey?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
