just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Boobs speak an international language.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
