They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
