Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
