Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
