You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
