I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
