I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
