I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
