just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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