I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
