he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
