sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
