i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
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