This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I think I sprained my soul last night
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
