When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
