Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
